Bob and Stephanie sat in the church parking lot watching as people entered the sanctuary for Sunday services. Their teenage daughter, Julie, sat in the backseat with Jason, their 10-year-old son with autism. “Why are we just sitting here?” Julie fumed. “Why aren’t we going in?”

Stephanie glanced at her husband, wondering the same thing. Bob’s jaw was taught, and his eyes looked a little wet. Right then Jason began his habit of rocking back and forth and hitting the backseat window. “Help your brother, would you!” Bob barked at Julie.

Tension filled the car. As Julie reached for Jason, Stephanie reached for her husband’s hand and whispered, “If you want to skip this, we can.”

The family was new to this church. Bob had explained to the pastor that Jason had autism and would need assistance in the children’s class. The first few Sundays had passed without any disruption, but last week was different. The children’s class became disruptive and noisy, which, in turn, created a “sensory overload” for Jason—he went ballistic, frightening his classmates and alarming his teacher.

Bob and Stephanie were told that Jason could not attend Sunday school anymore without adult supervision. They left church that day feeling guilty and embarrassed.

People with disabilities . . . often feel church is a challenge, rather than a refuge.

Bob broke the quiet. “So which one of us should skip worship to sit with Jason? You or me?” he asked, glancing at Stephanie. In those moments, they could hear organ music beginning. Bob looked at his watch. “Maybe we’ll come back next week,” he abruptly announced as he started the engine.

“Aw, man,” Julie mumbled, “I was just beginning to make friends here.” The family drove away in stony silence.

Finding solutions

It’s a true story. And it’s repeated in countless churches across the country. Don’t think only special-needs families like Bob and Stephanie’s have a hard time; adults with disabilities do too. Some people walk wide circles around a wheelchair-user or completely look past him. Wheelchairs, white canes and walkers tend to expose our fundamental fears about disability—as well as awkwardness and embarrassment about our own limitations.

People with disabilities and their families are in desperate need of help and hope, yet they often feel church is a challenge, rather than a refuge. Parents think, What if my child has a meltdown? Will people in church reject her? Will they think we’re bad parents? Adults with disabilities may struggle with a different kind of rejection: Why are people talking down to me, as though I were a child? It’s my legs that are paralyzed, not my brain.

Disability is on the rise. From autism to Alzheimer’s, there is hardly a cul-de-sac in America that hasn’t been touched. And statistics are increasing: One in every 110 births will involve a diagnosis of autism¹. Many of these families struggle against social isolation, financial strain and the burden of day-to-day routines.

Jesus tells us in Luke 14 to “go out . . . find the disabled, the lame and the blind . . . and bring them in.” He then adds a special promise: “Do this, and you will be blessed” (Luke 14:12-13). God makes it clear: Take the initiative. Families like Bob and Stephanie’s aren’t burdens to our congregations; they can be blessings.

The challenges of many “new” disabling conditions require fresh thinking on the part of the congregation. When embracing special-needs families in your church…

1. Don’t get hung up on euphemisms such as physically challenged, differently abled or motion-impaired. However, remember that words such as cripple or invalid carry a negative stereotype. Don’t let language be a stumbling block.
2. Mobilize your church’s prayer team. Our adversary tries to discredit the goodness of God through disabilities. Prayer will turn that around, helping disabled people to say, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. . . . For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12: 8-10).
3. Feel free to ask questions. When it comes to a child’s special needs, Mom and Dad are the experts. Organize a planning meeting between the parents, Christian education director and Sunday school teacher—learn the child’s needs and ask the parents to help you work toward creative solutions.
4. Seek the advice of those in your congregation who are trained in nursing, special education, physical or occupational therapy. Is extra help needed? Enlist volunteers to each serve as a “buddy” to someone with special needs, providing supervision and support.
5. Remember, disability ministry doesn’t have to be a full-blown department with a staff and budget. Relax. It’s all about the stronger members helping the weaker, and weaker members helping the stronger.

Welcome to the world of Luke 14—to the world of disability, where God’s power shows up best in weakness. My colleagues and I at the Joni and Friends International Disability Center will be praying for you as you extend that same welcome to people with disabilities, whether children or adults.

¹ EasterSeals.com; 2010 State Autism Profiles

Find support, resources and training for your church through the Joni and Friends International Disability Center. For example, attend a Disability Ministry Summit and learn from experienced leaders. Or volunteer at a Joni and Friends’ Family Retreat—these annual retreats for families affected by disability provide five days of respite, spiritual fellowship and fun.

Joni Eareckson Tada founded Joni and Friends in 1979 to help meet the spiritual and practical needs of disabled people and their families. Her own diving accident at age 17 had left Joni in a quadriplegic state, with minimal use of her hands. JAF now reaches around the world through resources and church training, as well as the distribution of wheelchairs and Bibles to those affected by disability. JAF is a partner of EFCA TouchGlobal.