Where do I start?
If you’re not already in a mentoring relationship...
Not every mentoring relationship is a formal one. But consider these steps for getting started:
Look around you, at the people already in your sphere of influence.
To find a mentor: Consider in what areas of your life you most wish to see growth: spiritual, physical, relational, financial, intellectual, leadership ability or specific professional skills, etc. Pick one to start with. (“Leadership ability” contains many subcategories all its own, so be specific.) Whose mastery of that area of life is something you want to emulate?
To find a mentee: Who either reports to you or looks to you for advice or leadership? What might you have to offer, to help them grow into who God has created them to be? Consider the categories noted above.
If you’re still not sure whom to ask, talk with the leadership of your church for suggestions.
Pray. God might have someone else in mind to be your mentor, or He might redirect what you have to offer to someone else.
If God gives the go-ahead, initiate. Offer a specific topic and timeframe.
With a potential mentor: You might say, “You are an example to me in [this area], and I’d love to learn from you. Would you consider mentoring me for the next six months in this area—meeting once a week?”
With a potential mentee: You might say, “I appreciate the [working relationship/ friendship/ special connection] that God has given us. As I’ve prayed about it, I’ve wanted to invest in you [in what way? be specific here], to see you grow even more in this area. Would you be interested in meeting once a week for the next six months, to talk and pray more about it?”
If the person declines, return to point 1, but don’t give up!
If the person agrees, coordinate an exploratory meeting, where you can both clarify expectations: desired outcomes, amount of structure, handling of expenses, support from spouses for the time commitment, exit framework if expectations are not being met.
If you decide to move ahead, enjoy the process. At the end of the agreed-upon timeframe—unless God clearly guides you both to continue—warmly express your appreciation and aim for closure.
With your mentor: Articulate how you have grown. Then, start praying about the next area of your life God might want to touch, and ask Him for another mentor.
With your mentee: Clearly communicate what you’ve seen God do in his or her life and what you’re praying for the future. Then, begin praying about the next person whose life you can influence. ■
