Creating Space at the Table
Extending your legacy through mentoring
We are all created in God’s image. Which means we each have powerful gifts that, when used, reflect the glory of God. But how do we both develop those talents and invest them in others? Four and a half years ago, T.J. Addington hired Lindsay Norman as his executive assistant. He recognized then that the 23-year-old would be a valuable addition to his role as EFCA senior vice president, and also to the EFCA at large. Immediately, he started investing in her potential. Today, Lindsay still reports to T.J. but now carries the title—and greatly increased responsibilities—of director of special initiatives for ReachGlobal.
T.J. mentors everyone who reports to him, reflecting his personal commitments to “prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” and to entrust what he has learned to others, who will pass it on (Ephesians 4:12, 2 Timothy 2:2). T.J. insists that mentoring is not just an optional detail of leadership; it is a biblical mandate and a vital necessity for the future success of any organization.
“Every church and organization is one generation away from decline,” he says. “Raising up the next generation is the only way we avoid that. And that is not accomplished by simply preaching. It is influencing people one to one. There is a whole generation of young people like Lindsay who have competency, the raw stuff, and are just waiting for somebody who will develop, empower and release them.”
Lindsay says T.J.’s mentorship has been one of the most pivotal elements to her growth as a leader. (Tim clarifies that he focuses on Lindsay’s work development: “I’m not Lindsay’s spiritual advisor; I’m not her marriage counselor.”)
After feeling under-utilized in her previous job, Lindsay applied for the position as T.J.’s executive assistant because she recognized him as a supervisor who would focus on her development.
“I knew I could do more,” she says. “The downfall is that because I was young and a female, that automatically put me on the slow track at many places. But T.J. really looks at a person, regardless of age, gender or race, and wants to invest in their potential.”
The first step T.J. took to mentor Lindsay was an informal one: He came alongside her, asked a lot of questions and discovered Lindsay’s unique gifts.
“Mentoring is not about growing another you,” T.J. says, “but about helping people understand how God designed them. Mentors need to help mentees know how they are wired and get them to where they are working in their strengths.”
Without Lindsay recognizing that she was being mentored, T.J. started building into her life. Understanding her competency, he entrusted her with more responsibilities and invited her to “shadow” him in his role. Despite Lindsay’s age and lack of experience, T.J. also asked her to sit in on and contribute to meetings, giving her access to situations and people she would otherwise not have.
“I can’t tell you how empowered and challenged I feel when a leader asks me to come around the table and give my opinion,” Lindsay says. “When you’re treated like a trusted colleague, you start expecting more of yourself.”
Tim invites Lindsay’s input, he explains, “because she has a perspective I’m not going to have. I’m 53 years old. I want various perspectives around the table. I learn a lot.”
Lindsay’s skills continued to grow, until T.J. eventually reached a crossroads: “Lindsay is a high-capacity person,” he recognized. “She needed a bigger challenge.”
Although T.J. could not afford to hire other administrative help, the choice seemed clear. In January 2009, Lindsay’s role officially changed, and T.J. chose to go without administrative support.
“Mentoring is intentionally helping someone become all they can be,” T.J. reiterates. “That means being more interested in their development than in my own needs.”
As director of special initiatives, Lindsay is charged with growing the diversity of ReachGlobal’s mission and integrating prayer into the mission. She also serves on the directional team of ReachGlobal, a group of 13 individuals who set direction for the international mission. While only half the age of most people in similar positions, Lindsay knows that T.J. fully trusts that she will accomplish these goals.
Lindsay is proof that potential leaders grow when they are allowed to take on stretching assignments without micromanagement. Rather than giving persistent instruction, T.J. relies on a teaching technique that Jesus modeled: He asks a lot of questions.
“Using Socratic dialog is exceedingly helpful in a mentoring relationship,” T.J. explains. “The human tendency is to want to tell people and not to dialog with them. That doesn’t help people grow.“With good people, you need to be clear about the boundaries you’ve given, but then let them figure out how to meet the challenge. They will do it differently than I would.”
Lindsay says it’s rare that T.J. tells her, or other staff members who report to him, what to do. “Every time I get told what to do or how to do it, I think, I can’t make that decision myself.”
“Holding out a mentee with an open hand is a risk for a mentor,” Lindsay admits. “Failure’s probably going to happen if I am trying new things. But T.J. has assured me that I can fail. If I do, we can do an ‘autopsy without blame’ and then move forward.”
T.J. and Lindsay have a standing meeting once a month to check in on a deeper level than the day-to-day. Lindsay gives an update of roadblocks she is facing and where she needs support. The meeting also provides an appropriate place for T.J. to provide honest, private feedback.
While mentoring is a gift of time and commitment, T.J. knows it’s worth it. “The test of my leadership is not what happens when I’m here,” he says, “but what happens when I’m gone. Have I raised up godly, smart, effective people who can carry on in my absence?
“I am convinced that the most powerful legacy we will ever leave are those individuals we have equipped, who in effect keep the ripples of our lives moving out on the pond of life.”
Lindsay has not only been equipped through Tim’s willingness to mentor but also inspired to take on mentees of her own.
Obviously, Tim went further than inviting Lindsay to sit at the table; he encouraged her to use her voice at that table, which has made all the difference to Lindsay’s growth as a leader and to her understanding of who God made her to be. ■
Kristen Kimmel is a writer with Journey Group, based in Charlottesville, Va.
